So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
