....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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