theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
