where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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