I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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