I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
