Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
