Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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