best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just invented taco cereal.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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