I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
