I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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