tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
