i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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