I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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