Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
