I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
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oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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