ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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