Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
