Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
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I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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