OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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