the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
