You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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