guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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