Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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