Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
