they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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