I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
