Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
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