Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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