Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he thought i was a dude.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
