p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
