My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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