I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize