Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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