Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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