you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
