if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
