There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
We have started to decorate penises.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
