i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
