just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
