I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
well you can't waste a boner
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
