i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
