Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
