have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
