I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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