True but thats because hes a fetus.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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