Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
