now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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