i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
