She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
