ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Randomize
