i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Two words: nipple clamps
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