Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I can't turn off my feet"
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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