I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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