Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
