I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
