I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
