so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
