He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
