Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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